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Warning, I promise my posts aren't usually this long, it's just this is a topic I feel strongly about and I felt it needed examples.

Growing up in the church, I've heard the saying, "Every member a missionary" a million times. When I was a little kid, I thought it meant that when you were old enough you were supposed to go on a mission. As a teenager and young adult I thought it meant that we should be willing to share our testimony with others. And while those things still have some truth in them. I realize now, that, that isn't all there is to it.

Part of my revelation came to me recently when we moved into our new home.A gentleman was out walking his dog with his daughter and he stopped in front of our house and asked if we were the ones moving in. My husband answered that we were and introduced himself. The gentleman introduced himself and his daughter as neighbors that live a few doors down. He welcomed us to the neighborhood, offered help if we needed it and went on his way. My hubby and I thought he seemed like a very nice guy. It was at this point that another gentleman who lives in the neighborhood came over and asked, "Do you guys know each other?" We said that we knew him from his introduction, but that he was as new to us and everyone else on the street.
That is when the neighbor said, "Well, you know, he is a pastor or something from another church!" He said it in a way that really made my husband and I feel that he meant, we shouldn't associate with him because he wasn't a member of the church.

At first, I will admit, that it just made me mad. My first response was to think, "I can be friends with whom ever I want, thank you very much!" "Try to tell me who my friends should be, I might go make that pastor guy a plate of cookies right now and say, be my friend."
After a few deep breathes though, my anger turned to sadness. How many people in this neighborhood have taken on that view? Has this nice man been shunned because he doesn't go to my church? What happened to "every member a missionary"? And that is when it hit me:

Every member a missionary, means to love all of God's children. He doesn't love that Pastor any less than He loves me. He wants all of his children to make it back to His fold. My job as a member of the church is to share that love with others. To teach others that there is a "true" church. That there is a plan to get back to our Heavenly Father.

So how do I do that? Do I just drop a Book of Mormon off at his house and think I've done my part?Do I assume that because he hasn't come to church yet, he never will? I don't think so. I think it means that I be the friend that he may not have gotten yet in this neighborhood. I think it means that I show him that I can love him no matter what church he belongs to. I think it means recognizing that he can still have good values and be a good person, even if he belongs to another religion. I think it means having an open enough mind and personality that people feel comfortable enough to ask me questions about my church. And know that when we do, we will find that we have lots of things we agree on and can respectfully talk about the things we don't.

I know that this can be done because I have an unlikely best friend. I'll call her my best friend H.

H and I met when we lived in New York City. We lived in the same apartment building in military housing. At first you would think that we had nothing in common. First of all H is about 10-15 years older than me. (I don't know her exact age, I never asked.) She has a part-full time job (sometimes its a couple hours a week sometimes it's 80), while I am a Stay at home mom. She has a step child and her husbands ex to deal with, I only have my original manly beef cake and 4 perfectly wonderful pews. She has one child and a step child who have a 12-14 year age difference. I have four kids that were all born within 7 years of each other. She grew up in PA, I grew up in UT. See, you wouldn't think that we would have much to build a friendship on. But...

We both knew what it was like to be military wifes. Both of our husbands were in the Coast Guard and are now retired. Both of our oldest are boys, are the same age and were in the same grade at the same elementary school. We share a lot of the same views of the world around us, as well as values we want instilled in our children. We both go to church every Sunday. We both say prayers at dinner time. We both adore our husbands. We both like to laugh. We both love to read. We both love music. We both lack in the "perfect housekeeper" department. We both volunteered at the school. We both met our kids at the bus stop everyday. We both think that education is very important, but that a good education isn't just getting straight A's in school. We both felt out of place at times in the big city surrounded by so many people who didn't act the same ways we did. We both felt that we could totally be ourselves with each other and that we would be understood and loved, not judged. We both miss each other GREATLY.

Now here's the kicker, My friend H is a Presbyterian Minister! And let me fill you in on a little secret. My friend H is probably the most Christ-like person I've ever met. She taught me many lessons (through example) of forgiveness, patience, brotherly kindness and unconditional love.

We talked religion a lot, knowing perfectly well that we went to different churches. We agreed on most things and if something came up that we didn't agree with, we moved on. We had hobbies and interests that were the same that had nothing to do with religion. We both helped each other through struggles. (Whether they be emotional like when her father got ill and my mom went in for a surgery that I couldn't go home for. Or just the "I had a bad day", "I want to lock my children in their room!" days. )The fact is that I can't imagine how I would have survived New York without her. I miss her very much and I can't imagine my life without her in it.

How sad it would be if I'd never gotten to know her, because she didn't go to my church?

H gave me a Christmas ornament as a gift one year.(The story behind it is quite long and is another post entirely) It is a silver cross with blue sapphires embedded in it. (Not real ones it's a hallmark) Now, I know that we as Mormons don't wear crosses, we don't even put them on our churches. We try to focus more on the resurrection than the crucifixion, but that cross goes front and center on my Christmas Tree every year. It reminds me of H. It reminds me of all the good times we've had together, it reminds me of how much love was behind it when she gave it to me. It reminds me that God loves each of us the same, He paid for all of our sins and that isn't that why we celebrate His birth?

My friend H has a Book of Mormon, she's read it. One day while talking about a hard time she was going through, she said she would just have to have faith and keep pressing forward. I replied, "Ya, there are times we just have to hold to the rod and have faith that it will get better." I said it without even thinking who I was talking to. She of course questioned what "hold to the rod" meant. And I proceeded to have to give her a lesson on Lehi's dream and the interpretations there of. And you know what, she said, "Wow that is beautiful. Where in the Book of Mormon is it? I'm going to have to go dig out my copy and read it."

I've given H cd's of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, (which she loves) and she asked to look through my hymnal once. And I've promised that when she finds a time to come and visit, we will go see the choir in person.

My friend H isn't a member,... yet. (hehe), but I know that some seeds have been planted. In both our hearts. I believe that conversion isn't something that happens over night. For some it can take years. And I believe that sometimes, every member a missionary, means being patient. Being an example and most of all being a friend.
*hugs*