What Am I Going to Wear?

Modesty is a hot topic at church.  It's been a hot topic for as long as I can remember--and that's a long time.

We go the rounds on being modest, being fashionable, being appropriate.

Can we be both fashionable and modest--at the same time?

Do we care if we're fashionable as long as we're modest?

What's appropriate for church and what's not?

It's enough to give even the most determined Modern Molly a four-Motrin headache.

I don't know about you, but I've been given so many pieces of conflicting advice over the years that beyond the basics of modesty, I no longer feel qualified to give anyone any advice.  And that's probably not a great place since I'm the mother of three daughters (and one son--but he's so much easier when it comes to clothes I just don't worry about it) and I've been a young women leader for most of my adult life.  In addition, I'm a professional photographer and my favorite clients are high school seniors.

As you might imagine, I'm frequently called upon to posit opinions on modesty and appropriateness in dress.


There's no consensus on either.  Not even in the church.  I've now lived in three different stakes where women, especially in leadership positions, were specifically asked to wear pantyhose to church.  And I lived in one temple district where the women were asked to wear pantyhose to the temple.  Now that doesn't bother me.  I personally consider it a public service to wear them as I am of Irish descent and have a complexion to match and I don't want to be responsible for anyone being blinded.  Also, it's only 3 hours a week.

But then it came up on an e-mail group I'm a member of and you would have thought we were asking women to shave their heads and let their husbands take another wife.  Talk about some hostile conversation.  I was glad we were online because I was afraid the tar and feathers were coming out next.

The same thing happened when the topic of flip-flops for Sacrament meeting came up.  For what it's worth, I don't own any, I haven't owned any since childhood and I don't plan to own any (they hurt my toes).  I also don't let my daughters wear them to church on Sunday. And I wouldn't wear them to the White House to meet the president.  So, now you know my position.  But you aren't me and you aren't my daughters, so you're not my problem.

A few more of the "sage" pieces of modesty/fashion advice I've come across over the years at church.

• T-shirts are not appropriate for church wear (I don't mean the crew neck things we pass out youth conference or something from a rock concert--I get that--the statement here meant any type of t-shirt). 
• Denim is not appropriate for church wear.
• Anything that wouldn't be modest without alterations or something under or over it isn't appropriate for LDS women.
• It's ok to wear any kind of bathing suit as long as you have a t-shirt and/or board shorts. (just for the record, if I wanted to wear a t-shirt and shorts while I was swimming, I would just skip the uncomfortable bathing suit to begin with)
• Shorts are not appropriate for church activities or women who've been through the temple.
• Even toddlers should be wearing dresses that are at least knee length. 
• Any shoe that you can't wear pantyhose with is not appropriate for church wear.
• There is nothing wrong with wearing pajama pants as long as they're modest.
• Prom dresses and bridesmaid dresses are never appropriate for church.
• I love to see the young women wear their formal dresses to church.

Is it any wonder we're all conflicted about modesty and style and fashion here?

As a young women leader, I teach the standards from For the Strength of Youth.  I try and teach my young women (and my daughters) to dress so they won't have to make big wardrobe changes once they have been through the temple.  I also try teach my daughters and our young women about dressing appropriately for different occasions.  I do have a few general rules there.

They are:

• Bathing suits are never appropriate attire for a church wedding.
• It's better to be overdressed than underdressed.
• Wedding guests should not wear white to a wedding unless requested to do so by the bride.
• Don't wear anything that will make you feel self-conscious or uncomfortable.  If you are going to spend the day tugging it up, tugging it down or being afraid to bend, turn or squat, leave it in the dressing room.
• Flip-flops are not formal wear.

That's it for me anymore.

So, how does it all work for you? What crazy fashion/modesty advice have you gotten and how do you address the whole issue?  Do you just wear whatever and don't worry about it or do you try to adapt current fashions to be more modest?

Mormons are Funny

I was surfing through the archives this morning and I found this little gem from Jia that I thought was definitely worth another look.
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My Father in Law and I had a good laugh today I thought I would share. He is in charge of scheduling the baptisms for our ward building. Today he had to go to the building to set up for 3 separate baptisms scheduled an hour apart from one another. There are like a few different versions of how things like this should be scheduled and every ward in our building apparently has a different version.

I told my Father in Law, "See, this is why when non-members say they just don't like organized religion, I always reply with 'Organized may be an exaggeration.'"

Father in Law laughed and then said, "Kinda like when people say we're a cult, I tell them that in a cult people follow their leaders without question. If we did that, none of us would be in debt, we would all be caught up on food storage and we'd all have 100% home teaching."

Smart man that one.

Have I Got a Deal for You! --My Memories Coupon Savings--

So, if you entered our giveaway for the My Memories Digital Scrapbooking Software and didn't win, I'm so sad.  Really.  I would have loved to give all you some free software.  I love to give things away.  But they only gave me one.


All is not lost, however.  I do get to keep giving you $10 off the software.  And rumor has it that it comes with a $10 coupon in case you want to buy some of those cool add-on kits.
So, here's the code. STMMMS56215  And here's the link.  My Memories Digital Scrapbooking.


So, if you're into digital scrapbooking, or you want to get into digital scrapbooking, I really do recommend this program.  It was easy to learn and easy to use and very affordable (especially if you use that coupon code up there--copy and paste it--it's easier).


So, that's the deal.  Use it, share it, delete it.  Scratch that last one.  Use it, share it and then show us what you've made.


Happy Monday!

Validation--And the Power of Words

A little something to think about this Sunday morning.
This is one of my all-time favorite YouTube videos.  I just posted a video about the power of words on my other blog (Improving on the Silence) and it reminded me of this one.

Not only are words powerful, but how we use them is even more critical.  What have you done today to lift another?

And the Winner Is. . .

{EAV_BLOG_VER:9bbdcbcc9c282e84}
. . . Nan Hyde!  Yay, Nan!

For the rest of you, you can go to mymemories.com  and buy the software for $10 off, using this code   STMMMS56215. The $10 off deal will end today, so don’t wait to buy your copy of My Memories Suite. For digital scrapbooking, this program is definitely the way to go!


If you buy it after today, there isn't a discount, but I'll still get credit, so maybe they'll see how much all my readers love this software and let us do another giveaway!


Happy Monday!

Photos & Scrapbooks & Giveaways, Oh My!

Obviously, photography is on my mind this week.  First, we have the really cool My Memories Suite digital scrapbooking software giveaway.  You can enter until Thursday.  Get all the details here and don't miss out.

And then, I just finished writing Marie Leslie's Guide to Great Vacation Photos.  It's a free, downloadable E-Book with some of my favorite tips for making the most of your vacation photos.  Whether your traveling around the world or around the block this summer, you won't want to miss this.

You can get it on my Facebook page at Marie Leslie Media.

See you there!


And don't forget.  The My Memories Giveaway ends Thursday!

Priceless Treasures

Today I am thrilled to share a guest poster with all of you.  Tiffany is one of my "internet friends". I've never met her in person, but I've learned to love her over the internet.  This post is just one of the many reasons.


Tiffany blogs at "A Butterfly World."  She's a fun loving person that loves Oreo malts (oh, now I'm hungry), dancing in the rain and dreams of swimming with the dolphins.  

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It's been said that 'one person's trash is another man's treasure'. I have a cabbage patch doll that I got when I was 6. It has scuff marks all over it's face and head. The outfit it has on has a small stain on the back and little fluff bunnies all over it. There is some kind of soda pop stain on it's left knee, and the entire skin of the baby is kind of dingy looking. Most people probably look at this doll and think I should trash it, however this doll is a priceless treasure to me.

Twenty-four years ago this week my little sister, Tara, was born. Tara has down syndrome and had some serious health challenges when she was first born. During that time she was held in the nicu of the hospital and being such a small child I was not allowed in there. This was a terrible thing for me, I had waited a long time for a little sister to play with and now she was here and no one would let me see her. I remember standing outside the door peering in the window as different family members would go in and see her. I even have pictures of me standing around crying because I wanted to see her so badly.

Eventually the day came that Tara was released from the hospital and I would finally get to meet her. I anxiously sat in a waiting area of the hospital while my parents went in to get my sister. When the big brown doors opened my mom came out holding my baby sister, she was followed by my dad and a nurse who also had something in her arms. My mom sat down next to me and introduced me to my sister. The nurse then approached me and handed me a brand new baby cabbage patch doll with a hospital band around it's wrist proclaiming me as it's mother. My mom and I both left the hospital that day cradling our newborns.

Over the next while every time my mom sat down to feed my sister I would be sitting right next to her feeding a bottle to my own baby. My baby doll got it's diaper changed, took a bath, and was rocked to sleep at the exact same time my baby sister did. You could say they were practically twins! I felt so close to my mom and my sister as we did all of these things together.

Well my sister outgrew the diapers and I outgrew playing with dolls, but we never outgrew each other. Tara and I are still the best of friends doing many things together. Whenever I look at my seemingly banged up little cabbage patch doll I recall those tender moments we had when she was just small and the love that bonded us together for a lifetime.

Sharing My Memories--Software Giveaway!!

A couple weeks ago I opened my inbox and I found an invitation to try some digital scrapbooking software.  Even though I'm a photographer and I've designed many albums professionally for my clients, I have never really used digital scrapbooking software, so this sounded like fun to me.

Yes, I am giving away this cool software—so read to the end and enter!

White Sands with the kiddos

I went to mymemories.com and I downloaded My Memories Suite and installed it.  Definitely a simple and easy process.  Then I went through my photo files and picked out a few pictures to play with.  When I am designing photo albums, I like to choose the photos I know I want in the album before I start and put them all in one folder together.  It makes it a lot faster and I don't end up hunting all over for photos or leaving any out.

I decided to put together an album from our last trip to White Sands. We had so much fun and it was such a pretty day and, of course, PhotograMama took lots of photos of her favorite kids. It's all drag-and-drop and very simple to lay out an album using their pre-made templates.  The program comes with more than 30 pre-laid out albums.  It’s easy to re-order the pages, so you can be up in running in minutes.

I'm going to camp next month--guess which
scrapbooking kit I'm buying next!

For me, the litmus test of any software is whether I have to read the user manual before using.  With My Memories, I didn’t have to, though you will learn a few tips to speed things up.  In addition, to a PDF user manual—which means you can download and save it to your computer and review it whenever you want, there are also video tutorials available.

This one is so pretty--it's on my wishlist, too.

Once you’ve got it up and running, you can download additional goodies.  There are dozens of free layouts and paper/embellishment packs. There are also tons of layouts and goodies to customize your album from different designers and some of them start from just 99 cents.  I didn’t see anything over $10.  When I think about what I can drop at the scrapbooking store, My Memories is a bargain.

One of the features I liked best was the ease of journaling. Some of the pre-made layouts come with journaling space, but if you want to add your own, it’s as simple as a click—and I can use any of the fonts on my computer (I’m a font freak—there are a lot).

The completed layouts you see with this post were made by me, using just the basic software.  I’ve also downloaded a couple samples of the add-on kits and packs.  I’ve been wanting to go to a digital scrapbooking design—I’m not good with embellishments and handwriting, so the computer holds great scrapbook software.

Win a Free Copy of My Memories Suite!

Now for the part you’ve been waiting for—the giveaway.  Modern Molly Mormon is giving away My Memories Suite 2.  It’s a $39.97 value—and then there’s all those great goodies you can get afterward—and a lot of them are free.

To enter,  visit mymemories.com and then come back here and post a comment telling me which layout or kit you like best.

For additional entries (be sure to comment separately for each one),  like any of the following pages on Facebook and then come back and tell me you did it.  My Memories Suite, Modern Molly Mormon or Marie Leslie Media (that’s my page).

Follow My Memories on Twitter or Follow Marie Leslie Media on Twitter and tweet this giveaway to your followers.  

You can also tweet this giveaway: Scrapbook your summer with free software from mymemories.com. Enter today. http://t.co/s0DAsJC

One of my cute seniors.

If you enter on the Facebook page, it doesn't count--you have to enter here.

The giveaway will close on Thursday, June 16 at midnight mountain time.  You have live in the US to win and I’ll announce the winner on Friday morning, June 17!

I have a million pictures (ok probably
only 10,000) and they need to be
scrapbooked. This is  so easy.

Now, if you don’t want to wait and see if you win, you can go to mymemories.com now and buy the software for $10 off, using this code   STMMMS56215.  The $10 off deal will end on June 19^th, so don’t wait too long to buy your copy of My Memories Suite. For digital scrapbooking, this program is definitely the way to go!

Visiting Teaching Fail--or not?

I am the world's worst visiting teacher. I don't know why this is so hard for me. I've certainly had enough years to get good at it. But it is the one thing at church I don't seem to get.

How hard is this really? You have three or four women, you get together with another woman (or not) and you go visit them each month. Seems like it ought to be pretty simple. But it's not. Every month I get to, oh, say the 25th and the thought crosses my mind that I'm supposed to be doing something (though sometimes I forget completely). And then the thought leaves and another month goes by.

Is it because it feels like one more obligation? Is it because I'm really a shy person and I have a hard time doing one-on-one with people I don't know?  That really is true.  I'd rather speak in stake conference than call someone I don't know and invite myself over for a visit.

Or is there some great vision here I'm missing. Maybe I just got off to a bad start. I've never really had a companion who was enthusiastic about visiting teaching. I've had more than a few visiting teachers who were at least as bad as it as I was. Perhaps it was one of those early visiting teachers who thought it was her duty to educate me in the "proper" way to be a wife/mother/homemaker that left a bad taste in my mouth.  Or maybe it was the ward I lived in for eight years, where my visiting teachers changed an average of three times/year. Or the companion who looked at me the first time we met and told me I was sent as an answer to her prayers (yikes!).

On the other hand, I've had some pretty amazing visiting teachers over the years. There was the one who came over at 2 a.m. so I wouldn't have to wake my kids when I had to make an emergency trip to the hospital.  There was another one who showed up at my door with dinner for my family minutes after I walked in the door from a surgery I thought no one knew about--and she had just moved into the ward the week before.  I didn't even know she was my visiting teacher yet. Or the visiting teacher who came over and helped me paint my master bedroom with the 13-foot ceiling and held the ladder because she didn't me to fall off and break my hip (it really did happen to another sister in ward doing the same thing). And the ones who were just there, who actually checked up on me more than once a month and knew what was happening in my life and didn't make me feel like an obligation or an assignment.

Some of my dearest friends started out as visiting teachers or visiting teachees (is that a word--it is now because it's right there in black-and-white) or companions. So why is it so hard? It's the one thing I'd really like to be better at, but I'm not even sure how to get there after a quarter-century of not being good at it.

So, it's the beginning of the month, more or less. I really do want to change this and be better. I know visiting teaching isn't going to happen this week.  This week is youth conference and I need to be there so that's half my week gone and I still have a full week of work to do in the half-week I have left. I think I have a night route. Not my first choice but since that's where I'm needed that's where I need to be. And this week only has one night in it that I don't already have a church commitment and it has a business commitment. So, next week it is.

So, what is it that makes you either anticipate or dread visiting teaching?  From either end. Do you look forward to visiting teaching or having your visiting teachers come or do you hope the month will pass by quickly and move on to the next one? What makes it work or not work for you?

I Scream, You Scream, We all Scream for Ice Cream!

I don't know what it's like at your house, but at our house, ice cream is a staple food.

I could forget a lot of things on my grocery list, but if I forget ice cream, I just might as well not come home.  And this is not from my kids. My hubby could happily exist on an ice cream diet. I, on the other hand, am a popcorn eater--but that's another post.

When he was in high school, he worked at an ice cream parlor (Farrell's).  He has never recovered. On the upside, he does make a dandy ice cream Sundae. Every Sunday is Sundae night at our house. If you go to church you get a made-to-order ice cream Sundae if you're at our house on Sunday night.

Last Sunday #1 came home for a long weekend. We were happy to see her as she hasn't been home since leaving to take up residence in the Magic Kingdom last August.  If you happen to visit the Wilderness Lodge, be sure to stop in and check up on her for me.

This event required ice cream pretty much every night, since she has apparently inherited the ice cream gene from her father.

In honor of the prodigal princess' return, the ice creamaholics decided ordinary ice cream Sundaes weren't enough.  Instead, we made homemade ice cream sandwiches. Good stuff. Really. And so much easier than I thought it would be. We'll be making these again soon.

To make ice cream sandwiches, it's really helpful to have a waffle-cone maker. Being the bargain-hunter I am, I happened across one for $2 at Goodwill.  You can tell because it still has most of the price tag on it. I haven't succeeded in removing all their labels yet but it hasn't stopped us. The only downside is that it didn't come with the nifty tool to actually roll the waffle cones into a cone shape, so we just make Sundae bowls. Or ice cream sandwiches.

To make them, you mix up a batch of waffle-cone batter (recipe is below) and then cook them up.  It works best if you cut them in half as soon as you take the cooked waffles out--before they cool and get a little crispy. We cool ours on a cookie rack. Then you just have your ice cream man put a nice big scoop of slightly softened ice cream on one of the halves, top it with another half, pressing down gently and it's ice cream time!



Waffle Cone Recipe--makes 6-8 cones

1 egg
1 egg white
1/2 cup sugar
2 tablespoons melted butter
2/3 cup flour
1/4 teaspoon salt

Beat well egg, egg white and salt together with a whisk until well blended.  Add sugar and beat until  mixture begins to lighten in color.  Stir in flour and mix until smooth with no lumps.  Finally, blend in the melted butter.

Put about 2 tablespoons in the center of your preheated waffle iron for about 1 1/2-2 minutes.  Mine has a little light on it, but it doesn't work well (the perils of the Goodwill) so I use a little timer and cook for 2 minutes.  Longer than that and they are too brown and crisp for my taste.




 If you don't want them flat, either roll into a cone or shape into a bowl immediately upon removal.  They are HOT, so you need to use a towel or silicone glove to protect your hands.  Let it cool enough to hold its shape, scoop in the ice cream and enjoy.  Yum!

By the way, I'm always up for cool new things I can try in my little waffle maker.  If you have any recipes, you'd like to share--or any ideas--I'd really love to hear from you!